I've been so unkind to myself lately; so unfair. I think a part of myself has drifted during the last couple of days, and I've forgotten to be kind. It's frustrating; the way that I see everyone, through my eyes, as something so magical & so beautiful, yet sometimes I forget that I'm something so full of magic as well.
I'll be honest and just say that there are times when suddenly the hat looks good on everyone but me. Every person I see has flowers blooming from the tips of their fingers & sparkling rivers flowing through their viens. So BRIGHT. Their eyes pull you under until you're drowning in some kind of sweet bliss & the passion in their hearts amounts to something so beautiful that I tend to fall in love. Platonic love, of course, but I fall in love so easily, with too many things all at once. Still, there are moments when I question how much I love myself. My problem is that I worry too much about how other people look at me while I'm wearing the hat. I'm afraid that people don't see me the way that I see them. I'm afraid that my flowers may not be blooming big enough for everyone around me to see. This is when I take a breath. It doesn't matter what kind of lenses other people see me through. If I don't take care of my own heart, the flowers that create my beautiful garden will die; and what chance do I have of showing other people the colours living within me, if they no longer exist? I know what wonders exist within me, and I know how beautiful they can be. That, my friends, is what's important. I'm writing this for you, whoever you are, as much as I'm writing it for me. I really hope that you can look in the mirror, or look deep within yourself, and see how entrancing every little piece of you is. I'm afraid that I don't look feminine enough & I've had issues with my body since the first grade. It was the the first time I was told that I was fat, and the first time I was told that there was something wrong with that. I'll admit that I've been scared since, that nobody would want to be my friend, and as I got older, that nobody could ever fall in love with me. I think that's what I'm worried about right now. But I know that's not true. I know that my body isn't a burden & that it's not something that I should ever be ashamed of because it's me, and I am something beautiful. Just as you are you, and you are lovely just as long as you are kind. If you are kind, and you are true, and you love with every piece of you, I promise that the beauty people see within you is larger than life. Peace & Love Sam
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AuthorThese words are written by Sam. She is the author of Bloom, Poetry and Prose, and Until I Feel Like My Own Mother, enjoys sitting in the sun, eating fruits, and making people smile. Archives
May 2021
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